I seem to have lost the entire month of July

But I think things are going to lighten up now.  I am back from my trip to California, I’ve completed most of my financial planning tasks related to being outsourced, I did adopt a puppy who takes massive amounts of time, and I’m fighting off the guilt of not having looked for a job yet. 

First, the trip.  I posted some of my pictures to Snapfish, and is the link: http://www1.snapfish.com/share/p=67041217895716020/l=411006151/g=86393974/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

Here’s the puppy:  She’s a miniature dachshund, about 6 months old now.  I can almost see her growing daily.  I had to loosen her harness a few weeks ago, so I know she is bigger than when I first got her.  She is a rescue, given up by her breeder because she was sick and the breeder couldn’t handle the vet bills.

I say that I’m feeling guilt, but actually I’m feeling guilty that I’m not feeling very guilty at all.  If that makes sense.  A wise woman told me that I’m in a normal stage of the grieving process you go through with job loss, and it does sound like I’m close to getting on with my life.  The trouble is, my perfect life might not involve much IT work.  Running a coffee shop, baking biscotti, making trail mix from scratch, and creating healthy quick breakfast and lunch items to sell – that sounds much better than working in IT.  My husband is certified by the health department to run a food operation, so if he retires next August, that would be the time to take such a plunge. 

In the meanwhile, I’m going to actually try to apply for a job.  After I read two books.  And after I finish the dog training class.  And get all my documents organized and filed.  I am a procrastinator, yes, but if I did get a job quickly, it would mess me up because the dog is not ready to be left alone for 8 hours a day. 

I just feel, with some justification, that my next job is going to be just like the last job, I’ll be miserable and bored and not challenged within 6 months, and I will also be stuck.  Subsequent moves will be made with much deliberation and care, I can assure you.

The experience of a lifetime

As a young woman, I never had any interest in backpacking through Europe. If you had offered me the chance, I would have declined on two counts: my excessive need for cleanliness and my lack of a third or fourth language. Knowing college level Spanish would have been useless on such a trip.

 

Lest you have the wrong impression of me, I am an outdoorswoman of some skill, an experienced camper until age and a bad back stopped me. I strap on a hydration system and hike up mountains in the Smokies and New Hampshire, battling outdoor allergies and weak ankles, but soldiering on. My favorite places are Yosemite and the Shenandoah Valley. I have an extensive collection of waterfall photographs, and I will kill myself to find the best vantage point for the shot.

 

So you will not be surprised to hear that I am going on an adventure, one that I’ve been wanting to do for most of my adult life. I am going to drive across the country at my own pace, alone.

 

Before you assume I’m crazy, keep in mind that my parents have done it three times in the past four years. Nothing bad happened to them, they never felt as if they were not safe and they are in their 70s. A middle-aged woman, not particularly attractive, wearing old, inexpensive clothes, should not draw negative attention. Being alert to my surroundings should keep me safe, not to mention that I can kick the shit out of you if I have to.

 

I read that travel writing requires traveling alone. That seems right to me; when writing about your experiences, it is counterproductive to filter them through the perceptions of another. Clarity is the victim. It’s hard enough to translate feelings and ideas into prose, without worrying about what someone else is thinking.

 

I’m going to blog about this trip, itself a solitary experience if nobody posts comments.  Since my computer has a webcam, with any luck I can figure out how to post video of myself talking about the day’s experiences.  Pictures are a given.  Wish me some technological luck, and of course, safe journey.